Several wealthy and benevolent individuals in the county subscribedlargely for the erection of a more convenient building in a bettersituation; new regulations were made; improvements in diet andclothing introduced; the funds of the school were intrusted to themanagement of a committee. Mr. Brocklehurst, who, from his wealthand family connections, could not be overlooked, still retained thepost of treasurer; but he was aided in the discharge of his dutiesby gentlemen of rather more enlarged and sympathising minds: hisoffice of inspector, too, was shared by those who knew how tocombine reason with strictness, comfort with economy, compassionwith uprightness. The school, thus improved, became in time a trulyuseful and noble institution. I remained an inmate of its walls, afterits regeneration, for eight years: six as pupil, and two as teacher;and in both capacities I bear my testimony to its value andimportance.
During these eight years my life was uniform: but not unhappy,because it was not inactive. I had the means of an excellent educationplaced within my reach; a fondness for some of my studies, and adesire to excel in all, together with a great delight in pleasing myteachers, especially such as I loved, urged me on: I availed myselffully of the advantages offered me. In time I rose to be the firstgirl of the first class; then I was invested with the office ofteacher; which I discharged with zeal for two years: but at the end ofthat time I altered. red wigs
Miss Temple, through all changes, had thus far continuedsuperintendent of the seminary: to her instruction I owed the bestpart of my acquirements; her friendship and society had been mycontinual solace; she had stood me in the stead of mother,governess, and, latterly, companion. At this period she married,removed with her husband (a clergyman, an excellent man, almost worthyof such a wife) to a distant county, and consequently was lost to me. wiglets
From the day she left I was no longer the same: with her was goneevery settled feeling, every association that had made Lowood insome degree a home to me. I had imbibed from her something of hernature and much of her habits: more harmonious thoughts: what seemedbetter regulated feelings had become the inmates of my mind. I hadgiven in allegiance to duty and order; I was quiet; I believed I wascontent: to the eyes of others, usually even to my own, I appeared adisciplined and subdued character. hairpieces for women
But destiny, in the shape of the Rev. Mr. Nasmyth, came betweenme and Miss Temple: I saw her in her travelling dress step into apost-chaise, shortly after the marriage ceremony; I watched the chaisemount the hill and disappear beyond its brow; and then retired to myown room, and there spent in solitude the greatest part of thehalf-holiday granted in honour of the occasion.
I walked about the chamber most of the time. I imagined myself onlyto be regretting my loss, and thinking how to repair it; but when myreflections were concluded, and I looked up and found that theafternoon was gone, and evening far advanced, another discovery dawnedon me, namely, that in the interval I had undergone a transformingprocess; that my mind had put off all it had borrowed of MissTemple- or rather that she had taken with her the serene atmosphereI had been breathing in her vicinity- and that now I was left in mynatural element, and beginning to feel the stirring of old emotions.It did not seem as if a prop were withdrawn, but rather as if a motivewere gone: it was not the power to be tranquil which had failed me,but the reason for tranquillity was no more. My world had for someyears been in Lowood: my experience had been of its rules and systems;now I remembered that the real world was wide, and that a varied fieldof hopes and fears, of sensations and excitements, awaited those whohad courage to go forth into its expanse, to seek real knowledge oflife amidst its perils.
I went to my window, opened it, and looked out. There were thetwo wings of the building; there was the garden; there were the skirtsof Lowood; there was the hilly horizon. My eye passed all otherobjects to rest on those most remote, the blue peaks; it was those Ilonged to surmount; all within their boundary of rock and heath seemedprison-ground, exile limits. I traced the white road winding round thebase of one mountain, and vanishing in a gorge between two; how Ilonged to follow it farther! I recalled the time when I hadtravelled that very road in a coach; I remembered descending that hillat twilight; an age seemed to have elapsed since the day which broughtme first to Lowood, and I had never quitted it since. My vacations hadall been spent at school: Mrs. Reed had never sent for me toGateshead; neither she nor any of her family had ever been to visitme. I had had no communication by letter or message with the outerworld: school-rules, school-duties, school-habits and notions, andvoices, and faces, and phrases, and costumes, and preferences, andantipathies- such was what I knew of existence. And now I felt that itwas not enough; I tired of the routine of eight years in oneafternoon. I desired liberty; for liberty I gasped; for liberty Iuttered a prayer; it seemed scattered on the wind then faintlyblowing. I abandoned it and framed a humbler supplication; for change,stimulus: that petition, too, seemed swept off into vague space:'Then,' I cried, half desperate, 'grant me at least a new servitude!'